Red & Blue
by dark-adrenalynn
Summary: Three years after Serenity, things have evened out onboard the Firefly, but a new problem may just be surfacing, throwing a space monkey into the big damn heroes lives.
1. Prologue: Look Better

Disclaimer: They all belong to Joss and I've never attempted to fic them before. Don't sue or kill.

Rating: PG/PG-13 this chapter, probably R later.

Author's Note: Prologue is set around the infamous stabbing incident, while the rest of the fic will take place three years after the BDM.

The colours and moods and thoughts of the crew were swirling, and it made her itchy. It was hard to focus on reality with the other miinds around. She couldn't block them out very well. So instead, she tried to shift focus from person to person.

It was a brilliant plan, worthy of her genius, until she hit the Man-Called-Jayne. It was still for a moment, and she was surprised. Not silent, but still. Like the engineered woods on Osiris, meant to be dark and deep - but unlike those woods - created by fussy alliance charities full of socialites - the forest of Jayne's mind was dangerous as well.

There was a movement somewhere, maybe it was her own, and then she had her own thought.

iRed. He has to be in red. He'll look better in red./i

She moves - dances- to cut him, without even thinking about it, because for once, there's only one thought in her mind. It's actually a bit of a relief.

He backhands her and she has to suppress the urge to giggle. even when she's explaining it, she doesn't know why she needs to see him in red. She doesn't understand yet. She ponders over it for awhile, and as she later sits on the cold steel of the infirmary table, telling Simon that not to fix the bruise blooming on her jaw she realises she doesn't have all the variables yet. She cannot solve the equation until she has all the variables. So she tucks it back in a corner of her mind, a deep, shadowy, dangerous corner, like the forest of Jayne's mind, so the equation will be comfortable in similar but different surroundings.

Simon asks something, and her head pops up and tilts slightly. "What?" She asks, having been too distracted to catch what he said, since his thoughts over-rode his words.

"Why don't you want me to heal the bruise?" Simon asks again, patiently, his voice strained in concern. "You don't have to punish yourself, River. You didn't know what you were doing." He wants to believe what h's saying, and River smiles at him, touching the bruise and admiring it in the reflection of the table.

"I look better in blue."


	2. Chapter I: A Malcolm Reynolds Plan

The plan was simple, in theory. It was an old con from Earth-That-Was, and one that was supposed to end up with plenty of Alliance-grade colony rations in their hold. There was only one problem. That problem was it was a Malcolm Reynolds Plan. And as everyone in the 'verse knew - or at least those who knew Captain Malcolm Reynolds - any Malcolm Reynolds Plan was bound to go the way of mice and men, even if it was just to have a nice cup of coffee substitute.

A Zoe plan meant River could stay in the ship, long legs tucked under her as she sat at the controls, trusting the crew to carry it off, and only briefly checking on them over a distance when necessary. A Mal Reynolds plan, on the other hand, well that required her on the ground and put Inara in Wash's cockpit. An Inara who couldn't hear the whispers of Wash to help her.

Of course, a Jayne Plan always put her on the ground too, but a Jayne plan rarely required some complicated, fancy piloting. The plan always reflected the person who made them, after all, and Captain was always getting into things sideways and dangerously. Zoe plans were calm and collected, restrained - and Jayne plans were blitz attacks, brute force and violence with just enough risk to make it fun.

River didn't plan. She could, but it took too long, because there were always too many variables. She couldn't slow her mind down enough to suss out the exact plan when she couldn't read the situation well enough. Even after Miranda, while the silent dead had stopped, she wasn't perfect, wasn't whole, wasn't completely sane. But she iwas/i better, and she had control over her Academy training. She was useful.

Especially when she saw the double-cross coming. For a moment she can't decide who to knock out of the way and chooses Zoe. It's not like the Captain hasn't been shot enough times, after all, and the wound will not be fatal. The shot from a very well-hidden sniper seemed to signal the rest, and while Zoe takes him out, and Mal curses i Chinese about his seemingly cursed luck and affinity for bullet wounds, River joins the fight next to the hard ass mercenary.

"Time to dance." She remarks, as they stand back to back, smiling at the answering grunt, though she knows her expression is "creepifying," and then, as they move, she doesn't even need to Read to know where he'll be. The fight is all laid out like a chess board, and sometimes she wonders if he can read as well, how he can tell without looking where she will move, when not to fire Lux or Phoebe.

And when the dance is done and there are wounded and dead around them, Jayne hauls Mal into the Mule, and Zoe clambers in as well. River climbs into the cramped, straining vehicle, giggling. "It iwas/i a Mal Reynolds plan." She remarks, answering everyone's thoughts about how it could have possibly gone wrong. "And it was a ilovely/i dance."


	3. Chapter II: Bad Medicine

The heavy, illegal cargo was stored, hidden away from prying eyes while Simon took care of most of the injuries that had been taken in the job. River took the opportunity to relieve Inara from her uncomfortable position in the pilot's seat, settling in with a brush of her hand against the plaque in memory of Wash.

"Time to fly." She said softly, listening for the answering whisper that only she could hear.

In the years since Miranda, things had shifted to a new sort of equilibrium. They weren't whole, none of them could be truly whole again, but the broken pieces fit together in a way that made them family, or the closest you could get to it, out in the black. Things were better, but still tense - while many warrants had mysteriously disappeared and the Operatives had taken down many men with blood on their hands from the highest echelons of the Alliance, the structure itself had merely wobbled. Too many people were too comfortable with the safety of the Core, too many people would rather believe lies.

And well, if there were Reavers, then the people of the Rim ought not to have left the safety of the Core. That's how the logic went, anyway. Jayne sat at the long table where he cleaned his guns and prepared for jobs as they headed to drop off the rations. It was a simple job, but he did it slowly, and with care. One's guns were one's livelihood - and the kind of thing most likely to keep you lively, so he spent more time on them than the average gunhand.

He didn't even look up as River came over and sat across the table from him when she was sure Serenity could fly herself. It had become a common sight, one that happened at least once a week. At first, no one was completely comfortable with it, but it had developed an odd kind of symmetry, and by now, the two didn't even need to say a word.

Jayne handed her the gun oil without her needing to say a thing, and she slid a fresh cloth to him, neither looking up from their work as they broke down their weapons and built them up again, with the same sort of skill that the doctor used in repairing people instead of things.

They work in silent tandem until Mal appeared, throwing a wrench into the well-oiled routine. "Li'l Albatross," he remarks, breaking River's calm, grounding focus on the 9mm. pistol in her hand, it's twin already lying to the side, made new and shiny by her attentions. Her head snaps up in surprise and her wide eyes startle Mal for a moment, who probably should have known better than to interrupt her when she was cleaning her weapons.

After a heartbeat, she nodded. "Yes, Captain."

Mal wasn't sure what she was saying, but he continued on, running his hand through his hair nervously. "I'd like you to come with us to the meet."

"Yes, Captain."

There was that answer again. He paused. "I'd like you to look as intimidating as you can."

River shot Jayne a look and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Captain."

"Right then, just as long as we're clear. Jayne, you keep an eye on her when we're at the meet."

"Yes, Captain," Both people at the table said, both semi-sarcastically, as Mal walked away muttering about how this was still his _gorram_ boat, and he deserved a little _gorram_ respect.

They worked in silence for a little longer, and River finished with her guns, not having quite the arsenal that Jayne did, or the stories behind them, but they worked just as well. She took them to her room and put them away before coming back to the table with the two weapons she felt the most connection with - the ones that rarely left her bunk. The ax and sword she had taken from the massacre at Miranda. Mal wanted intimidating, he would get it.

She was shining the ax when when Simon appeared. He paused and paled at seeing what she was holding and what she was shining. It had taken him long enough to get used to her use of guns. Seeing her holding the Reaver weapons was a whole other ball of concerns and bloody, half-blurry Miranda flashbacks.

Jayne glanced up from the smallest gun in his arsenal when River winced, and shot a look at Simon. "Gorrammit, Doc." He muttered under his breath, collecting everything from the small gun to Lux and Vera. "Think quieter or think somewheres else. Yer gonna make Moony go woolly, if'n you don't."

"O...of course." Simon managed, though both he and River looked incredibly uncomfortable. "_Mei mei_, it's time for your injection." River paled slightly, but nodded.

"Jayne, can you...?" Simon stsrted to ask, but the mercenary and public relations officer cut him off. "Don' I always?" He replied. "You'd think after this long ye'd stop rutting askin', Mr. Three Percent."

River stood, and carefully laid the Reaver weapons on the table, before heading into the infirmary, her nose naturally curling up at the antiseptic smell. She curled into herself a bit, watching as Simon mixed the medication, and looking away when he got out the syringe. Luckily, just then, Jayne lumbered into the infirmary to distract her. "I done took yer girls up to yer bunk." He informed her, and River nodded her thanks.

She took a deep breath, able to tell from the way that Jayne shifted, that Simon had finished the lengthy process of preparing her injection. She looked up at Jayne's shoulders, taking a deep breath as he held her shoulders and right wrist tight, while Simon held her left and administered the injection.

The brief twinge of pain is quickly overtaken by a quiet haze, and all the thoughts and feelings running through her drop to quiet whispers as she goes completely limp. It runs through her veins like blue fire, making colours brighter and pinging around her brain like tiny knives, all sharpness and light.

"Pretty," She remarked as Simon's face turned sad, and Jayne swung her into his arms, like he did every night, the sedative effect already half putting her to sleep. "G'nigh' Serenity."

Jayne nodded to the Doc, and headed out the door, navigating the ship easily until he reached River's bunk, now with the rest of the crew. "Gorram medicine." He muttered under his breath. "Makes her all loopy. Don' see why he still has to give it to 'er, she ain't gone and had a fit in ages."

Still, he helped, because he was the biggest, and it was easiest for him to restrain her if she happened to see the needle. And then he carried her back because, well, he was already holding her and all. Made sense. Plus, it wasn't like Simon could get down the ladder holding her anyway. He tucked the crazy girl in as usual, thinking - yet again - that maybe he ought to talk to the doc about those gorram shots.


	4. Chapter III: Another Day, Another Job

By the end of the night cycle, River was back to her normal self, or as normal as she could ever be, though the medications and the vomit that came with them made her loath to eat when the time came for breakfast. Most everyone was trying to get what relaxing they could get done before they reached their destination, which was Verbena, a still mostly-undeveloped world, for all that it had an Alliance factory on it. People took what work they could on planets, but that didn't make the crew anymore comfortable.

Despite not having many warrants still out for any of them, save for on Higgins' Moon, no one was completely comfortable moving closer to Alliance territory, even though they hd been doing it more and more often.

The ten hours or so until they reached the world, however, left plenty of time for relaxation of one way or another, and as had become common since Miranda, they congregated in the hold, reassured somewhat by the other presences, that should anything go wrong, everyone was fairly close. Simon was on the catwalk, reading some research or the other on Bowden's Malady, with Kaylee at his knee, making lists of what needed to be picked up and how long certain parts would hold on the ship, Inara was forcing Mal to learn the Sihnon tea ceremony, placidly ignoring his mutters of _'gorram useless'_ and 'Cantcha jus' _drink_ the ruttin stuff?'

Jayne was in his corner, working out with the singleminded determination that served him so well, so often. Zoe was sitting at an empty crate, reading a book wash had given her and preparing her mare's leg for the job, though her mind wasn't really on the weapon.

River often flitted around the cargo bay, but today she was lying down on one of the crates, curled up, and sighing every few moments, waiting for isomeone/i to comment or offer to entertain her. No one did, and so she wandered through their thoughts, letting herself escape the confines of muscles and such, not prying, just ensuring their relative emotional states were not going to shift and surprise her.

She sighed again, even going so far as to pluck the fallacious research from Simon's mind, before giving up. Standing up, she jumped delicately from one crate to another, doing little _fouettes en tournant_ whenever she landed. A year ago, even two, this may have surprised people, but by now no one even looked up. Still, it entertained her for a reasonable amount of time.

When she grew tired of it, she landed gracefully beside the weight bench.

"The girl is lacking proper neural stimulation." River informed Jayne, who grunted.

"Dance with me." She demanded. It probably should have been a question, but she was too _bored_ to give him the chance at refusal. Seeing, the slight annoyance and the tension as he opened his mouth, she added. "Lifting weights is repetitive and relaxing, fighting is fun. Dance with me. Have fun."

After this long working together, everyone knew that Jayne's priorities were made for his own amusements. This made him easier to convince. Jayne sighed and put his weights up, scowling at the fact that he knew he was being manipulated, but sparring was more entertaining than thirty more reps, he couldn't deny that.

"We ain't dancing, we're fightin'." He corrected her as he stood, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. She viewed fighting the same way she viewed her girly spins and twirls, or the sissified stuff they did at parties in the Core. Hell, weren't no party to him, until someone got hurt. "An' no revisits to the Maidenhead nut-twistin', _dong ma_?"

Ten minutes later, Simon looked up from his reading and frowned at the sight of the two fighting. Just because he had relaxed didn't mean he liked the sight of the big mercenary fighting his little sister, even though he could tell she was more than holding her own. He watched for a few minutes, and then saw something that surprised him. "What in the 'verse...?"

He shifted away, surprising Kaylee, who glared at him for moving when she was resting good and proper like, and followed him as he skirted the edges of the bay and came over to Mal and Inara. "My apologies for interrupting," he said politely, with a little bow, as the tea ceremony was very important.

"Ain't nothin to interrupt." Mal muttered, but Simon ignored him. Instead, he pointed out the fighters to Inara. "Do you see what I'm seeing, Inara?"

"See what?" Mal asked, rolling his eyes. "Jus' Jayne and 'Tross fighting again, doc." It wasn't like it didn't happen enough lately. When they gt a little too close to the crates of legal cargo he yelled, "Hey, watch out for the cargo or it's comin' outta your cuts!"

Inara blinked and watched the two for a few minutes. "Mal's right, Simon, I don't see..." Then she trailed off. "Oh."

"Oh?" Mal repeated. "What 'Oh?' what are you two seein? Ain't nothin' we haven' seen afore."

"They're _waltzing_" Simon said, with an expression that looked as though he had swallowed one of River's bugs.

Mal looked back at the fighters and laughed at Simon. "I think you've been away from the Core too long, or listenin' to your sister a bit too much, if'n you think tha's dancing, Doc."

"No, Simon's right, Mal." Inara pointed out. "Ignore the blows, watch the footwork. Jayne's got his left foot forward, River's right foot is back - then, there it goes, there's the other foot sidestep, then the feet come together..." She paused as River ducked a blow before doing it, with Jayne following a moment later. "And now River should move forward, and Jyne should go back..."

Mal tried to ignore watching the punches and grabs being traded and tried to concentrate on the feet. After a few moments, he could kind of see what they were saying, especially when Inara started predicting the next move in whispers.

It was more entertaining than the rutting tea ceremony, anyway, and after a few times when Jayne forced River o bend backwards to avoid a kick, as Inara predicted a dip, he laughed. "If'n you want my advice." He said, standding up and heading for the cockpit. "I wouldn't tell Jane he's been waltzing with the li'l witch."

Some eight hours later, they had landed on Verbena, and were doing final checks. Zoe and Jayne had returned from burying the illegal cargo somewhere only Jayne could find it without markings and returned to the ship.

Now, Mal was waiting for at the cargo door for River, like an impatient father. "Now, River!" He said in annoyance. "We're gonna be late if'n you don't git down..." The words died in his throat and his eyes widened, and then he grinned. "That's what I'm talking about, Albatross."

River grinned, and she joined Mal easy enough, adding Jayne a few yards later, from where he was resting against a tree. They headed for the bar in the Blackout Zone, and River recalled the Maidenhead in sharp relief, but this time she fit in much better.

She caught a few wayward thoughts about her appearance, a few more about her weapons on such a tiny frame, and it made her smirk. Her sword was strapped to her back , and the ax hung at her waist, the twin 9mm.'s strapped to either thigh, and hidden up the billowing sleeves of her shirt were several knives.

"Mr. Yang." Mal said, with a nod as he approached their new middleman.

The man nodded. "Captain Reynolds." He gestured to the chairs. "And who are your friends?"

Mal gestured slightly. "Jayne, my public relations officer." He said easily. "And our pilot, Alba."

River's smirk got deeper. Sometimes, now and then, when he wasn't being a complete and utter boob, Mal could be clever. Alba, from albatross. Apparently, fugitive status revoked or not, he wasn't willing to part with her name, smart.

"Awful tiny for all those weapons, ain't she?" Mr. Yang asked, with a leer that even if she couldn't read his thoughts made them quite clear.

"She knows how to use them, though." She remarked her fingers itching slightly.

"Are we here to do business, Mr. Yang?" Mal asked, wondering what was so hard about 'look intimidating but keep your mouth shut.' He slid a bag across the table that contained a single example of everything in the colony starters they had lifted. "The rest, if you want them, require the creds."

The man's eyes widened as he looked through the bag, and he nodded, kicking an equally nondescript bag to Mal under the table. "There's the rest of the cash I owe you." He said easily. "And I'd like to hire you on again. I've some..._sensitive_ cargo that needs moving to Liann Jiun."

Mal tensed slightly. That was Core. That was very Core. "I'm sure we could work something out." He said slowly. "But like as we don't generally get that far in..."

"You'll get twice what you got for this job." Mr. Yang said easily. "All you'll have to do is land at the docks. I'll even have my men come collect it."

River could hear Mal's toughts drop like marbles he considered it. Plink...plink...plink...plink. He glanced at her, and she didn't say anything right away. The middleman was being honest, there was no scent of deception or colours of a doublecross, but her stomach was uneasy.

"Can we do it, Alba? Or do we need to refuel?"

"Serenity can do it." River replied, convincing herself that the feeling was just leftover nausea from her injection. "We can be at Liann Jiun in a week, even get some passengers if we want them."

Mal nodded and held out his hand to Mr. Yang, the hand that contained the coordinates to the rest of the rations. "We've got a deal, Mr. Yang

And blithely, River wondered what they had just bargained for, and if it was worth it.


	5. Chapter IV: Calm Before The Storm

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Firefly, I just play in the sandbox.

**Author's Note:** This story has been on hiatus for quite awhile, but that is now over. Thanks to all of those who bother to read it.

* * *

No one was completely comfortable going into the Core planets. Everyone had their own reasons. For Mal it was stomach-twisting loyalty to the Independents, and even more than that, hatred for the Alliance.

For Zoe it was not wanting to bear the sight of Alliance officials traipsing around planetside; reminders that no matter how they had fought for freedom, something she still believed was right, that they hadn't won. There were bitter thoughts of Wash as well, thoughts of internment camps and how close she came to never meeting him, and for one traitorous moment, if she would have been better off without the Wash-shaped hole inside her.

Kaylee and Jayne were surprisingly similar in most of their concerns. They felt they didn't fit, they were too Rim to fit in the Core planets. Jayne didn't worry on it so much, his concerns were uncomplicated and utterly him, bar fights were a bad idea even in the blackout zones and clean prostitutes were rare on planets catered by Companions like Inara. Kaylee, on the other hand, was still worrying on Simon. While they had been together since Miranda, she still didn't have a ring on her finger or any other kind of commitment symbol, and she was afraid Simon would meet some rich Core lady, and look back on Serenity - and her - as a piece of _le se_again.

Simon, the boob, was worrying over being recognised. He had had classmates, classmates who hadn't been as smart as him, who were based on Liann Jiun. He was afraid of people who had scored low judging him for what he had become in the Black. River rolled her eyes at this. Simon had never gotten past the idea of appearance and reputation, even after all this time, and as for scoring lower, it wasn't like top three was very _high._Like Jayne and Kaylee, he worried he didn't fit any longer, and he was afraid of what people would think. Simple Simon didn't understand that people rarely said what they thought.

Inara's concern surprised River as she rarely projected so loudly. She was worried her teaching a class at the Companion House would make Mal think she wasn't happy, and that she wanted to resume working and taking clients. It was silly, River saw the relief run off Mal in waves when she said she wanted to teach a few classes, rather than mentioning clients.

And River, well, River couldn't tell why she was tense. She fed off everyone else's tension, and it was like a tapestry, she couldn't untangle her own knots to figure out why. So instead, she curled up in the co-pilot's chair, looking out at the stars.

She wasn't surprised when she heard the voice.

_What'sa matter? You look like the T-Rexes ate the baby brontosaurs._

"So much tension on the ship. Can't tell my own." She answered, swinging around to the other chair, as if she would somehow see Wash sitting there.

_Isn't that a good thing? Never liked being tense myself._Puzzlement from Wash.

"Not really. She feels like something will go wrong. The calm before the storm."

_Isn't it always. We never bet anything will go smooth. Is this..._

"Not like Miranda." River interrupted quickly. "Just...wrong. Tense. Incoming clouds. Lightning has already struck, the air is super-heating..."

_We can fly through storms. We've done it before. Don't worry._

"You're worrying."

_I have a little crazy girl piloting my ship._

"It's Mal's ship."

_First lesson of piloting,_ni zi_, is that's what the pilot_lets_the Captain think. Have I taught you nothing? And you were supposed to be such a genius..._

River giggled at that, she couldn't help it. Then she yawned. "We're taking on passengers in the morning."

_You should get some sleep then, before we need you to be your delightfully insane self in the morning._

"You don't need her for anything."

_Course I do. Entire crew does. what do you think I am, chopped liver?_

"You're dead. Probably."

_Probably? If I'm not you better get my ship back to that hunk of rock and dig me back up!_

Laughter again. Wash always made her laugh. "You might not be here. I just might be crazy."

_Nah, I'm here. Couldn't let you drive my baby alone, could I? And you get control of your pronouns when you're talking to me anyway. Now get some sleep, crazy girl, or I'll sic my warrior woman on you._

"Wash?"

_Yeah?_

"Want me to tell Zoe about the thing yet?"

_Not yet. I'm not sure yet. Not a thing to tell her when you're thinking of storms._

"It's been three years."

_So it can wait. Now get some shut eye before the Doc tries to drug you so much I have Captain Protein-Fingers touching my controls again._

"Mmkay. Wake me up if they start putting needles in my eyes."

_Good_night_River._

"Goodnight, Wash." A few moments later, she was asleep.

The big, steady merc who had been standing in the doorway for the past ten minutes waited until he heard her snore slightly before blinking and echoing her words. "G'night Wash."

Unlike, River, he did not hear the whispered answer, but he headed down to the infirmary anyway. "Found 'er." He informed Simon, who was mixing up the medication. "She's already sound asleep in the co-pilot's chair. Seems a little pointless to wake 'er up so ye can put 'er to sleep again." When Simon looked ready to protest, he shrugged. "She ain't had a fit or tried to hurt anyone, jus' try watching her tomorrow, mebbe she don't need 'em as often, if'n she's sleepin' by 'erself."

And then he walked out and headed for his bunk. If the doc wanted to wake up the crazy killer woman to give her some injection, he could keep her from clawin' his own face off. Seemed pointless anyway, when she was already sleepin' like a sane person.


	6. Chapter V: Locked

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine!

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who read, and especially to those who reviewed. :)

* * *

Despite everyone's nervousness, the week in the Black prior to landing on Liann Jiunn was surprisingly easygoing. The only use for the infirmary was when one of the passengers had tripped on a catwalk and bloodied his nose. Simon found himself without even his sister to treat, as River had done so well without her injection the first day that he decided to continue it, and see how long she could function without the drugs in her system.

The cargo was stowed, and according to Jayne, it was full of some sort of rare mineral or the other. Mal didn't much care what was in the cargo, he just wanted to get this job done and get out of Alliance space. It gave him all sorts of uncomfortableness. It didn't help that nearly all their passengers were the fancy Core type. He had made the mistake of letting Simon help Kaylee get the passengers, and apparently seeing the starched and ironed doctor made the little ship look like a good place to put to harbour if you owned a summer home on Liann Jiunn.

Still, the money was _very_good. Good enough that after the men had unloaded the cargo, Mal decided to take Jayne to the blackout zones and see if they couldn't rustle up more cargo further towards their comfort zone. Of course, they came back a little bruised, but without any purple-bellies on their tail.

When they returned, however, they found a problem. Serenity was right where they had left her, but the docking gear had land-locks on her, property of the docks. Cursing in Mandarin, Mal turned around. He _had_wanted to sprawl out on his bed until the soreness abated, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Why can't things ever go smooth?" He asked, nodding when Jayne grunted. They headed toward the docking office, and were directed further away, to the financial quadrant offices, and went inside an antiseptic white building and up to the reception desk. "I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds," he said, voice even though his posture was tense. "My ship..."

"Yes, sir, we've been expecting you." The pretty blonde receptionist said. "Right through those double doors. Mr. Shaw is expecting you."

Mal's eyebrows jumped up. "I think you may have mistaken me, I didn't make no appointment..."

"No sir." The woman said easily. "Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Firefly-class _Serenity._Mr. Shaw has been waiting." She gave him a baleful look, as if keeping Mr. Shaw waiting was a horrible sin.

"Well then," Mal said, tugging on his brown duster. "Come on, Jayne. Won't do to keep Mr. Shaw waiting."

The office they walked into was decorated richly, with tapestries and vases, and fresh flowers by the large marble-desk. The whole room spoke wealth, much like the shindig that Mal had gotten the cows from and a swordfight out of.

"Ah, Captain Reynolds." The man beside the desk said, standing. "I'm glad to finally meet you. Please, sit."

"I think we'd rather stand, thanks." Mal said, eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid you have me at a mighty disadvantage. You know me, but I can't seem to recall you."

The man nodded, and sat, seemingly amused by the comment. "My name is Delun Shaw, I own the docks." He said simply.

"You're the man who put landlocks on my ship?" Mal asked, not inclined to like this fancy, Coreified man. His words were kind, but his eyes were shifty. "Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to leave before I got the chance to discuss business with you." Delun said easily.

"Business." Mal repeated. "Not a mighty fine way to start a business relationship, locking a man's livelihood down."

"But convincing." Delun replied, with a flash of his white teeth. "After all, you'll want to leave, and only I know the codes to those locks."

Mal heard Jayne growl behind him. "So what is it you want?"

"I heard you let passengers disembark." Delun remarked, playing with a red peacock quill pen. "I want you to transport my fiance to Osiris, as well as her bride-price, for the _jie xin ren_."

Mal's eyebrows went up. "Forgive me for saying so, sir, but you could charter any vessel in the 'Verse if you own those docks. Why my Firefly?"

"When I heard you were coming," Delun said easily. "I found it to be...auspicious."

Before Mal could ask more, the comm radio on his belt crackled to life. "Cap'n?" Kaylee's voice came out high and worried, slightly shrill for the young mechanic. "Cap'n, we need you back here."

Mal didn't take his eyes off of Delun. "We're working on getting the locks off of her, Kaylee. We'll be there soon."

He started to put the radio back, when he heard Zoe's voice, strained past its normal stoicism. "This ain't about the locks, sir. Get back here..."

"What's going on?" There was more crackling, then, and what sounded like a muttered curse, before what couldn't be anything other than a gunshot came across the radio, accompanied by a shrill Kaylee-scream.

"Kaylee!" Mal said into the radio. "Zoe! Someone tell me what's happenin' on my gorram boat!" The radio only crackled in answer, and Mal looked at Delun who shook his head. "I'll be here, Captain." He said easily. "We'll talk again. I know where you are."

With Jayne growling behind him, Mal turned and left the office as quick as he could, leaving the pair to hot-wire a skimmer in the nearest blackout zone, in order to get back to the ship quickly.


	7. Chapter VI: Drunk On Shadows

**Disclaimer:** They still ain't mine, gorramit.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who read, and especially thanks to those who follow and review. You make my day.

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It had been so long since River had had a "bad day" that everyone was startled when it happened. She and Kaylee had been doing their hair and chatting about just about everything; the job, the passengers, Simon's general tendency to put his foot in his mouth, and life in the Core when it snapped. The tiny thread of her own tension came unraveled, and she screamed.

The sound startled Kaylee so badly that she dropped the braid she had been working into River's hair in surprise, taking a step back as River stood and the scream seemed to drop off from lack of oxygen. "Riv?" She murmured. "River!"

The scream had brought Zoe and Simon running. Zoe out of fear of what was going on, and Simon because he thought it was a fit, caused by not medicating her for over a week. The engine room was small and cramped for four people and a med kit, and River used it to her advantage, backing into a wall.

"_Mei mei_," Simon said, voice soft. "Let me give you a smoother."

Zoe, turned to Kaylee, while Simon attempted to get closer to River. "What happened?" She asked the shaken engineer. "Did she say anything?"

Kaylee shook her head. "We were jus' talkin', Zoe." She sounded upset, watching the Tams out of the corner of her eye. "I was braiding her hair, and then she just...stopped and screamed."

Zoe nodded, reaching for her Mare's Leg, about to go check the docks for any threats that might be in the offing, and perhaps warn the Captain when the click of a gun cocking startled everyone.

"River!" Kaylee said, startled, and Zoe turned to see the pilot holding one of her 9mm pistols to her head.

"River, no!" Simon said, worried. "River, put the gun down. It'll be all right."

"They bleed blue." River said, hand shaking in a way that Zoe had only ever seen in soldiers who had never killed before, hadn't seen since Serenity Valley. "Bleed blue. Won't go back. Won't go back in the box. No more needles in her brain!"

Simon was trying to talk low and soothing to his sister, and trying to figure out how to get the gun out of her hand. "River, no one bleeds blue. You're here, you're on Serenity. We won't let anyone get you."

"Liar!" River shrieked, and when he reached for the gun, her eyes went black and she kicked him hard across the room, where he hit the bulkhead and was knocked unconscious. "You will give me over!"

"Simon!" Kaylee said, rushing over to his side.

Zoe cast the doc a look, and then spoke. "Kaylee, get on the radio." She said, voice firm. "Doc'll be fine. He's just knocked out." She tried then, approaching River quietly. "Tell me what's wrong, River."

"Only way out." River said, shaking hard. "Bullet in the brainpan. Just squish. Won't let us leave. They won't let us leave. Must go squish."

"There's always a way out." Zoe said firmly. "Always another way out, as long as you're breathin', girl."

She heard Mal over the radio, and wrenched the radio out of Kaylee's hand to tell him to get his _pi gu _back to the ship in more respectful terms, before tossing the radio back to Kaylee, and hoping River was still sane enough to not want to hurt her, reached for the gun. It was a stupid move, as she had seen the girl covered in Reaver blood and still standing, but it was the only way she could think to keep her from dying. She cursed under her breath in Chinese, and fell back in surprise as the gun went off, with both their hands on it, when Kaylee screamed.

A smile ghosted over River's mouth as Zoe stepped back. "Bullet in the belly will be equally efficient." She wavered slightly, half-braided hair coming undone as she slumped to the floor, giving in to the shadows.


	8. Chapter VII: Where The Stars Go Blue

**AN:** Wow! I can't believe the amount of views and reviews this fic has gotten. Thanks to everyone, honestly. You guys make life shiny.

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Wash wasn't particularly fond of being dead. Sure, it was nice to be able to make his witty comments whenever he liked without fear of consequences, but since only River could seem to hear him, only River could laugh and being a comedian for one had it's downsides. Of course, he could also slap Mal around when the fellow was being particularly obtuse and he could get a certain kind of childish glee out of sticking his finger in Jayne's ear when he was working out without getting his wrist broken, but the upsides paled in comparison to the downsides.

The biggest downside was Zoe. His warrior woman, his autumn flower, his beloved wife. It pained him to be unable to touch her, to be unable to make her laugh, to touch the coiled, corded muscles that could snap him in half. Those were only tiny stabs of pain compared to what he saw her put herself through because of him. He knew the others had oddly romantic notions of Zoe falling apart in their bunk, in private, mourning him in her own time, but Wash knew better. Knew Zoe better. She soldiered on, letting the pain scab over, never really letting herself touch it. He was afraid of the explosion. It would happen someday and the idea scared him.

Of course, loneliness was another factor. Book was around now and then, whenever they swung near Haven or Deadwood, but never for very long. That left Wash with River to talk to. He had always liked the girl, but they had grown close since Early and now...well, it wasn't like he had a lot of options for interesting conversation.

And his one reliable source of conversation was bleeding on the engine room floor, with Zoe looking torn up in a way that only he could see. He wanted to smack someone. Too bad no one would feel it.

"Gotta get her to the infirmary." Zoe said, after shaking it off and dropping the pistol like it had bitten her.

"Is it really safe to move her?" Kaylee asked, pale and recalling her own close encounter with a bullet in the stomach.

"Don't see as we've got much choice, Kaylee." That was his warrior woman, doing what had to be done for her people. Meanwhile, here he was getting all panicky about losing his tie to the living world. Even after they had managed to move River to the infirmary, he was pacing, and probably looked as bad as Mal when he and Jayne burst into the Infirmary after calling for them. Well...not him because he was dead, but for Simon, Zoe and Kaylee.

"What happened?" Mal said, taking in the scene of Zoe doctoring River, while Kaylee handed her things from drawers and worried at an already-bloodied lip. "Where's the Doc?"

"In the engine room." Kaylee explained in a rush, before Zoe even managed to get her mouth open. "River took a fit and knocked him out. Talking about bleeding blue and screaming. Zoe said...said he was all right."

"She had a fit?" Mal asked. "Then how is it she's the one with the hole in her and not one of you'se." When Zoe glanced up from trying to clean the wound and gave him the _'You're-being an-idiot-Sir'_Look that was Wash's fourth favourite expression.

"She was trying to shoot her ownself." Kaylee explained, sounding deeply disturbed. "Zoe tried to get the gun away from her, an' it wen' off all accidental-like."

"What exactly was she sayin'?" Mal asked, mostly because he had come to trust her crazy rantings.

"Somethin' about bleeding blue, sir." Zoe answered. "And that she wouldn't go back in the box or have needles in her brain, that they would never stop coming after her, and she had to put a bullet in herself."

_"Ta ma de._" Mal said, cursing, and before he could turn around, Jayne spoke up.

"I'ma gonna make sure none a'those blue-handed _hun dan_s are on the ship or nearby." He said.

Despite the tension, Wash almost laughed at the look on Mal's face as he opened his mouth and shut it again, as he had obviously been about to tell Jayne to do that. "Then go WAVE Mr. Shaw and let him know we'll do his job, but we want in the air 'fore dawn. He has to get those gorram locks off. I ain't stickin' around here if it's makin' the little witch go into fits."

As Jayne disappeared from view, Simon appeared, rubbing at his head, but with the same speed he always exhibited when someone he cared about was hurting, and Zoe gratefully gave up her doctoring position to the one with more than battlefield training.

That meant that they had to catch Simon up, and then Zoe asked Mal about why they were locked, but Mal had waved her off with a gesture as if it was unimportant, and said that Jayne would take care of it.

Somehow, Wash doubted it would be that easy, and resolved that the next time River asked him about his secret, he would tell her to tell Zoe. Just in case next time she went all sorts of self-sacrificing suicide on him again.


	9. Chapter VIII: Fighters

**AN:** I just want to thank everyone again for reading and reviewing. It really is shiny

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Jayne had checked the ship with a fine tooth comb, stalking completely silently to make sure there weren't none of those Hands of Blue freaks hiding on the ship or around the the dock, before he went to wave the _hun dan_about getting the locks off. The problem was, even with Vera present for the negotiations he wouldn't budge, and he insisted on talking to Mal.

So he had to clump down to the cargo bay to get the captain, and inform him that his intimidating manner didn't work on the Shaw character. Jayne didn't like him. Too slimy, too confident. The kind of bastard that got a crew killed. "I could cut on him a bit, get him to tell us the codes." He suggested. "He don't need both ears."

"No torture." Mal said, giving him a stern look and then sighing, waving Jayne off. "I'll handle this, you just go...do something. Somewhere else. That doesn't involve knives."

Jayne gave the captain a _look_. "Awww, Mal..." But he left anyway, grumbling to himself about how the captain was too _gorram_noble, and a little pain wouldn't be so bad. He wanted to get off this rock right quick. He started to head for the cargo bay to lift his weights when he thought about River in the infirmary and took a detour, sitting in one of the Doc's pansy-ass little rolling chairs that were too small for him.

He didn't say anything, just sat there, arms crossed over his chest, somewhere between glaring at and watching her. He didn't know how long he sat there, or even why, until Simon came in, looking surprised.

"Jayne, do you need something?" The doctor asked, and Jayne grunted and shook his head.

Simon was nonplussed, and the sight was almost comedic. "She'll be fine. She's had worse injuries on jobs, you know."

Jayne shook his head. "This is different, doc." He said simply. "Riv's a fighter, like me, like Zoe, hell, even like Mal. She wouldn'ta made it this far iff'n she wasn't. Probably woulda died in tha' Academy, or when Early broke in, or at _least_with the gorram Reavers, but she fought hard. An' now she's just given up."

Simon was surprised. It was probably the longest thing he'd ever heard Jayne say. "River didn't give up." He disagreed. "It was just a moment of psychosis from a lack of medication."

Jayne shook his head. "I ain't no top three percent doc, and I dunno what psychosis is like, but I know Crazy. If'n she was all psychosistic, we'd all be on our way to Haven if'n anyone was alive to still dig th' graves. It weren't like Maidenhead, Doc. She was right careful not to hurt you or Zoe permanent-like." He was surprised when Simon didn't have an answer for him, so he continued on. "She damn well forgot about everyone else and gave up on fightin', even after e'erything we've all been through. An' I don' care what your doctorin' says, but if someone gives up, they ain't gonna wake up no matter how pretty ye fix 'em up."

He gave a gruff nod at Simon. "So I'm gonna sit here and remind her that in this crew, no one gives up proper-like when there's still fighting to do until she gets it into that moonbrain a'hers to wake up."

He looked at Simon, shocked when the usual chatterbox of a doctor didn't have any sort of smart-aleck reply. All the doc did was pull down an extra blanket and told him to get some sleep before leaving the room.

Jayne just grunted.


	10. Chapter IX: Three Strikes For Mal

**AN:** Sorry this took me slightly longer to get up, I was finishing up finals, and now I have a week before college starts up again, so more fic sooner!

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Mal was generally confident in his abilities. No one was sure quite where this confidence came from with the amount of times he ended up shot after trying his hand at diplomacy. Even Mal wasn't sure where it came from as he stood in front of the screen. However, he had no doubt in his abilities to negotiate.

Maybe he should have.

Twenty minutes later he had _negotiated _himself right into his ship giving transport to some fancy Core woman, more platinum and jewels than he had ever even fathomed on, and a trip to Capital City on Osiris.

All in all, things were looking pretty ruttin' bleak, but he wanted to get off this planet before whatever had spooked his Albatross came back. He just hoped he wasn't digging them into another hole. He could have used River's guidance.

"I'm telling her next time she gets herself shot or shoots herself, she better dang well leave a note." He muttered to himself in the cockpit, and reached for the comm.

"_Attention, all hands. We'll be taking on a passenger and some cargo within the hour, bound for Osiris. We took this boat into Reaver space, so I better hear no mutinous talk about setting 'er down on some fancy, overpriced rock. Any complaints can be lodged with the office of I'm the Captain an' I can dock your pay."_

In the infirmary, Jayne rolled his eyes. "Cap'n's gone all soft." He told River again. "I told 'em to let me cut on 'im, but does he listen to Jayne? _Nooo._" He shook his head. "Y'know he's just all pansy-assed about torture 'cause o' Niska."

He reached over for a scalpel, and flipped it cautiously. "Dunno what yer brother's excuse is. I'd say he's afraid o' getting blood on his prissy white shirts, but he niver seems to care about that when someone's hurt." He rolled his eyes and leaned in conspiratorially. "Don't tell the doc I said this, it stays just between us partners, _dong ma_? But I think 'e'd be a pretty good merc if he could learn to shoot straight. All that learning and skill with a scalpel can work both ways, y'know what I mean? An' e'en though he's still a priss, he ain't near as bad as when y'all came on board." he made a face. "Not sayin' I like 'im or nothin', but y'know, he's crew. Good people. Ma'd like 'im."

He lapsed into silence again, taking River's hand and running his bigger fingers over her slim ones, creepified by how pale and still she was. It reminded him of the way she had been on Ariel before she had come back from the almost dead, rather than when she fell asleep on him after her meds. The reminder made him do something he never thought he would. "Y'know well enough that I'd never sell ye out again." He said slowly. "Since yer a Reader and all, but I never really apologised...so...I'm sorry." He puffed up slightly. "And I hope that that's rutttin' enough, 'cause I ain't ever gonna say it again, _dong ma?_"

Mal spent the hour running checks on his ship to make sure that any illegal bits and bobs were well-concealed and locked up tight in the tightest, most well-hidden nooks. He wasn't any more pleased with this excursion into Alliance territory than anyone else, and given the death glare Zoe kept giving him, he wasn't sure he'd make it back out.

"Where in the hell is Jayne?" He asked the cargo bay and crew at large in annoyance. "I pay him good semi-legal money to be the muscle, and when we've got heavy cargo arriving, where's the muscle? Nowhere to be found!"

Zoe raised an eyebrow at him and the death glare was replaced with the _'You're-being-an-idiot-Sir' _expression with which he was all too intimately familiar. "He's in the infirmary with River." She said with that note in her voice that she used when dumbing things down. "Same place he's been since you went in to 'handle' the lock situation."

"Well what the good gorram hell is he doing in there?" He asked, clomping back up the stairs from the bottom of the bay, and passing Simon on the catwalk. "Ain't you the one I pay to do the doctorin'?"

"Yes." Simon said, confused. "But I've done all I can. She's just sedated now."

"That's what I needed to know, Doc." Mal said, clamping him on the shoulder and continuing on as Zoe rolled her eyes heavenward and shook her head.

Mal clomped into the infirmary, taking in the picture. "You look like an idiot." He informed Jayne. "So unless you've something to tell me about your hand having some kind of magical resuscitatin' powers an' that we don't need the doc anymore, you get your _pi gu_ down to the cargo bay before the fancy lady shows up. You'll be moving her stuff. You know, the job I actually _pay _you for." And then he headed off to make sure he could get Serenity out of atmo as soon as the locks were off.

Jayne sighed and let go of River's hand. If he was honest, he had forgotten he was holding it. "Cap'n says jump." He said with a sigh. "An' no dyin' 'fore I get back, Riv." He paused. "Though wakin' up wouldn't go amiss."

He straightened, his knees and back aching from the small chair, and headed out of the infirmary. "While we're on the fancy rock, we should get some bigger rolly chairs!" He complained loudly, hoping Mal would hear him. "Ain't no one with half an ass can sit in those teeny things the doc's got."

"You want a bigger chair, you buy it your ownself!" Mal replied. "Now git down to the cargo bay before I decide to pick up another merc in the blackout zone!" It was an empty threat, really. Jayne was crew, family, but it got his oversized _pi gu_ moving.


	11. Chapter X: People Are Idiots

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine, still not making money.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all those who reviewed, read and favourited!

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People were idiots.

Zoe learned this lesson in a monumental way as a spacer brat when she was six and watched as a drunk woman spaced herself, convinced that the airlock was the way to the shuttle where she had left her purse and refusing to listen to the sober child.

She learned it again when she turned sixteen and left the ship to stay dirtside and enlist in the military just to get away and rebel. It wasn't the most logical or the most successful rebellion. The military took an angry, resentful and uncontrollable teenager with problems with authority and changed her, molded her into someone that Zoe liked. Someone who knew where she would be and how to protect herself. Someone who didn't need to let people close.

She saw idiots in the military too, of all sorts of shapes and sizes. Like Mal. Even after all these years together, Zoe couldn't help but look at him and think idiot. She hated him at first. Some volunteer with big ideals and little training being put over her head. In the beginning she cataloged his mistakes and his "cowboy" maneuvers that put himself in danger.

Despite herself she came to respect him, though, when his idiocy and ideals didn't waver in the bloody end that she had seen in so many other volunteers. Unlike some military men, he didn't leave a man behind. It was in Serenity Valley, when he commanded that they hold even after they had been ordered to surrender that she knew she'd follow the Sarge anywhere.

But that didn't make him any less of an idiot.

She couldn't believe it when he first showed her Serenity. While she knew his plan to buy a ship and trusted him to make a good buy, he had shown up with...this. Every bone in her body was finding every flaw, like a good spacer brat. In time, however, she had fallen in love with the ship.

And Wash.

Zoe found Wash completely disconcerting at first. She didn't know why she didn't like him, but she just didn't. Something about him got under her skin and she came thisclose to threatening to leave unless Mal found a new pilot. Even after Wash saved their lives with some quick flying she wanted him off.

He grated on her. He got into her peripheral vision and she was always aware of his presence, the moment he walked into a room. It drove her a little mad. She had built herself up, reconstructed herself as a stoic. This...man dissolved so much of that and she was sixteen again.

The first time he made her laugh she realised with a mental curse that she had fallen for him. Love wasn't supposed to be part of the equation, but the next time she felt that frustration and anger that she kissed him senseless on the bridge, and then swore that unless he shaved his gorram mustache she would never kiss him again.

It had taken Mal three months to figure out they were together. He had protested and fought it and whined but on this she wouldn't give in to her superior officer. She informed him that when they sat down on Persephone he could either come to her wedding or find himself a new pilot and a new first mate.

He came to the wedding. He also swore that he would catch the next onboard romance before it got that far.

Zoe could understand his lack of action on Simon and Kaylee's romance. Simon put his foot in it so often that it took Miranda for him to admit anything. By Miranda they were too much of a family to make anyone leave or take away any happiness.

But now? Now Mal was just being stupid.

At first she thought it was more of the same - that he didn't want to bust up their family by making a big deal about it, but then he asked where Jayne was and she realised that he was missing every sign that was written in characters a foot high around the ship.

As she strolled through the junkyard, picking up pieces of this and that, she thought over the crew. Simon may have been to the most prestigious MedAcad in Osiris, but he was an idiot with women. His difficulties talking to Kaylee without putting his foot in his mouth, even now, were prime examples of that. He also saw River as his baby sister, still fourteen and still broken. He couldn't see her as she was now. He had excuses. Little ones, but they made sense.

Kaylee...Kaylee had no excuse at all. She spent free time in those cheap romances that were all smoldering passion and knights on white horses. She couldn't even see what was happening on her ship. Sure, it didn't have any of the usual cliches of damsels in distress, but you'd think she'd pick up something.

Inara...Zoe was shocked that Inara didn't see it. Weren't Companions trained in these things? Body language, moods, things not said? Sure, she had left the Guild and House Madrassa after Miranda, but certainly those things were as ingrained into her as waking up at 0500 and cutting into apples were for Zoe. She was beginning to think Mal's idiocy was contagious and she was somehow immune.

River...well, with everything that had been done to her brain and her ability to feel everyone else's emotions, Zoe wouldn't be surprised if she couldn't tell the difference between her feelings and everyone else's feelings. She felt a little stab of guilt at the thought, at the chance that she might have hurt the littlest crew-member. she knew she had only done what she could to save her, but still...

Jayne...Jayne she couldn't blame at all. It was like looking in a mirror. She had never thought of Jayne that way until now but it was true. He hid behind the tough guy, the big bad merc who only cared about money - but he went into Niska's fortress with them, despite thinking it was suicide. He went into Reaver space with them. And he was definitely always aware of River. He had been the first one to see her fall at Lilac, and waded into the fray at Maidenhead. She was just waiting for him to figure it out, if he already hadn't.

She headed back to the quiet, almost empty ship and headed for the infirmary. She pulled out one of the emergency tool kits and went to work on her pieces with the same intensity that she did everything else.

Later, after they were in atmo, she heard a sound of shock from the infirmary and looked up innocently from where she was taking her turn "guarding" the cargo, and a second later, Jayne's voice came over the comm. "We have chair fairies!"

It was official.

_People are idiots._


	12. Chapter XI: Conversation With The Dead

**Disclaimer:** I just play in Joss's sandbox.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. You sure know how to make a girl feel shiny.

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Death was not what River expected, as she found herself in the back yard of her childhood home. She made a face, feeling the barriers more than seeing them. "I want _Serenity._" She muttered aloud. Wash got to stay on board, after all.

"Then stop dreaming of this place." Wash said, from where he was hanging up in the tree, that grazed her bedroom window. "You're not dead yet, little one."

River sighed. "Obviously a bullet in the belly is _not _as efficient."

"Nope." Wash said easily, cheerfully. "Not this time. But you're knocked out, and I was able to crawl into your dreams." Wash, solid here, in this place, jumped down from the tree and landed at the ground, wiggling his fingers in what was _supposed_ to be a spooky manner. _"OoooOooo."_

It made River giggle. She couldn't ever imagine Wash being scary. He was just so...so _Wash._

Wash looked injured. "I thought having the dead in your head was supposed to be scary!"

River kissed his cheek. "Wash could never be scary." She said easily.

"Damn, guess I'm going to have to do this the other way." Wash said, trying to look put out, but his cheeks were pink. He cleared his throat and pulled on the edges of his Hawaiian shirt as if it was a suit jacket.

"Now young lady, what exactly did you think you were doing?" Wash asked, trying to channel his father.

River almost laughed again, except she could feel his seriousness and concern under the act. She made a few faces, trying to make herself coherent. "She does not wish to be taken away." She said softly. "Dying and staying home like Wash seemed preferable to being taken away and locked in a box again."

It took Wash a few minutes to puzzle through that, and he felt no clearer when he had figured it out. "No one would have let you been taken away." He assured her. "You're crew, you're family. _Serenity_...and Mal...don't let crew go so easily."

River looked at the grass. "The girl cost him Wash and Book." She admitted. "She does not think that Daddy would be as willing to put family on the line again, see more death, have more burials. Dead River better than more dead."

Wash's eyebrows went up at her calling Mal "Daddy," but there were bigger things on his mind, and he took hold of River by her shoulders and gave her a shake. "River!" When she didn't look up, he shook her again. "River, gorramit, look at me."

He sighed in relief when she glanced up and said, "It's not your fault that I died. I chose to go into Reaver space, and only tall-dark-and-bloodthirsty is responsible for Book and Haven."

"But..." River said softly.

"No buts!" Wash said. "You get that _go se _out of your head right now, River...Tam." He paused. "What the hell is your middle name, anyway?"

"Gabrielle." River said with a slight smile.

"Right," Wash said, filing that away for future yelling moments. "Well, it's not your fault. And Mal's not about to let anyone hurt you." He made a face. "Besides, from what I hear, you did those Reavers in. Anyone comes after you, you just kill 'em before they get their mitts on you."

River doubted herself. "What if I get scared?" She asked. "What if I can't?"

"What do you think we have Jayne for?" Wash asked, rolling his eyes. "A garbage disposal? His fine diplomatic manner?" He grinned when River giggled again. "He's a merc. You can't do it, tell them to say hello to Vera and get your _pi gu _behind Mr. Big Ass."

River raised an eyebrow at that. "Mr. Big Ass?"

Wash grinned. "Big-Bad-Merc's been sitting by you in the sickroom when he hasn't been patrolling or trying to get the shackles off my ship. Complained about the small size of the infirmary rolling chair, so my darling wifey played chair-fairy and made him a new one out of parts."

He sighed happily. "I love my wife. Hate to see her leave, love to see her walk away, could feed me my own lungs, and yet, she makes the _best _soup and plays chair fairy."

"Chair fairy." River giggled again, imagining Zoe with wings and a wrench for a wand. Or maybe her Mare's Leg.

"Almost time to wake up, little one." Wash said easily. "And hey, if you feel guilty, just remember yourself that if you die, Zoe's never gonna know the secret, _dong ma? _So don't go feeling all guilty again."

"Yes, Wash." River said easily, giving him a hug, something she could no longer do awake. "You'll be a good dad someday." She shook her head, again. "Chair fairy."


	13. Chapter XII: Understanding

**Disclaimer:** Still Belong to Joss.

**AN:** Yes, these next few chapters are short. My apologies.

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The tiny young woman they would be transporting to Persephone showed up, and reminded Jayne strongly of Inara before she had relaxed around the crew. Not in the sexy Companion sort of way, but the very refined, very stiff Core sort of way that made him feel itchy being around her. Still, he didn't make any sort of faux pas that he could see as he carried her smallest bag to the passenger dorms, and secured the rest in the cargo bay.

"We're lucky Crazy's not like that." Jayne informed Mal as he moved boxes. "I'd take crazy killer woman over snooty stiff puppet any day."

Simon laughed at the conversation from where he was standing on the catwalk. "Oh, she can be like that, if she wants to be." He informed them. "But the only time she really wanted to was to show up the girls who were in her classes." Simon laughed, shaking his head. "She's a brat."

"And Simple Simon is a boob." Everyone turned at once to see River walking along the catwalk, albeit slowly and favouring her side.

"_Mei mei_, you woke up!" Simon said in amazement. "You shouldn't be standing, how do you feel?"

"Pain and soreness are within expected and tolerable levels." River replied, rolling her eyes at her brother. "Where are we headed, Captain?"

Mal wanted to be more concerned about River, but he could tell that she was trying to avoid fussing and worrying. "Osiris," he said slowly. "Dropping some Core woman off with her dowry for her wedding."

River growled at that, and it surprised the three men present. She turned on her heel and headed for the bridge, ignoring Simon's desire to examine her again. She didn't need babied.

"Did she just _growl?_" Simon asked, staring after his sister. "I thought she'd be glad to go to Osiris."

"I think maybe she's been spending too much time with Jayne." Mal said, shaking his head and ignoring the protest from the merc, concentrating on more important things. "Why did you think she'd be glad to visit Osiris?" There was something about it, something familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"She was born there." Simon explained. "We both were. The Tam Estate is on Osiris."

"Why in the 'verse would you think she'd want to ruttin' go _there?_" Jayne asked, staring at Simon in amazement. "After what you're gorram parents did?"

Mal left Simon and Jayne arguing about it, Simon trying to explain about dance studios and beautiful parks, to the merc who looked rather like he wanted to hunt down the older Tams and kick them through the engine.

He could see both points of view, and wanted to talk to his pilot before they landed, about that and the crazy fit she had had which resulted in her getting shot. He wandered up to the bridge, when he heard her voice, and peeked in, thinking that perhaps she was speaking to Kaylee or Inara. Zoe didn't step onto the bridge.

"Simon doesn't understand." River said with a sigh. "He never expected anything from them."

Mal listened, trying to hear an answer, but none came, and yet, she spoke as if there was a reply.

"He saw it as normal, never questioned. It's why he's so starched. He's not good at showing affection. He second guesses himself. He's still tied into tradition and propriety."

Mal couldn't resist the urge and stood in a corner, realising that she was speaking with no one. No one was present, and his concerns came back in full force, so he quietly left and searched out each of his crew, save for the youngest, and summoned them to a meeting in the galley.

If she was going crazy again, they were going to need to talk about it.


	14. Chapter XIII: Family Meeting

**Disclaimer:** They belong to Joss. I just play in his sandbox.

* * *

Mal stood in the galley, face somber as he looked over the crew. "I'm worried about our resident genius and crazy person." He admitted worriedly. "She seemed recovered from her fit, well enough, but I just went up to the bridge to talk about our course, and she was talking to herself."

"Sir, I hardly think that's something to worry about." Zoe said, raising an eyebrow. "Everyone talks to themselves a bit, out in the black."

"I don't conjure to argue with you on that count, Zoe." Mal agreed. "But it was down right creepifyin' - she was more than just talking to herself, she was carrying on one half of a conversation like someone was answering her. And I know a little bit about madness, and when you're talking to people who are not there..."

Simon was concerned. "She was doing so well." He said sadly. "The psychotic break must have had more of an effect than I thought, if she's hallucinating."

Jayne rolled his eyes. "She wasn't talkin' to no 'lucination." He informed them. "Girl was just talking to Wash."

The galley stopped and stared at Jayne as though he had suddenly turned into a Reaver before their very eyes.

"Jayne," Inara said softly. "Wash is dead."

"I don't think any'a'us need remindin' on that count, 'Nara." Jayne said, shaking his head at her, as if _she_had been the one to say something foolish.

"You just said River was talkin' to Wash." Mal reminded him. "Carryin' on a conversation, like."

"Yeah, girl does it a lot." Jayne had almost called her 'Crazy' again, but thought that it would probably not help his cause, really. "Catch 'er talkin' to him sometimes when I go up to the bridge to get her for the drugs Doc 'jects into 'er."

"You should have told me!" Simon said, irate. "As her doctor and her brother, I need to know about all her symptoms!"

"Tell you?" Mal repeated. "This is my gorram boat! I shoulda been the first to be told!"

"Why?" Jayne asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't tell you every time I talk to Kaylee or Zoe. Why's it matter who Moony talks too?"

"When she's talking to someone who ain't there!"

Jayne blinked at them. "You mean to tell me, you believe the girl was hearing all them silent dead people in Miranda from cross half the 'verse, but you don't think she can hear the little man? That don't make no sense, Mal!"

Mal stood there, shocked by the statement, which did make a lot of sense, and ended up looking rather like a fish out of water as he struggled to figure out what just to say. "I still shoulda been told." He said finally, glaring at the merc.

"Sure Mal," Jayne said with a shrug, as it didn't really matter. "Just didn't see as it mattered much, but you're the captain."

"Damn right I am." Mal said finally. "And about time everyone remembered it."

"Sir," Zoe said, breaking the silence. "Are we honestly thinking that..." She paused and swallowed. "River is talking to...on the bridge?" The expression on her face was less stoic and more pain for the first time since Mal had dragged her away from Wash's body.

"I don't know as that we can believe anything else, Zo." Mal admitted. "Jayne makes a point, and that's a phrase I never thought I'd be sayin' about the merc, but we believed her 'bout them as was on Miranda, an' makes no sense to stop believin' her now."

"She did just have a fit." Simon said, still struggling with the idea. "Perhaps the medication I put her on was too strong."

Only Jayne noticed the way the hatch opened slightly, and he went stonefaced as the conversation continued.


	15. Chapter XIV: Better

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Serenity, nor am I receiving any money for this little jaunt into the world of fiction.

**Note:** I don't know if anyone is still interested in this story, but I thought I might as well finish it. :)

* * *

River felt the concern and shock from the family meeting on the bridge, and went still in the middle of talking to Wash. "They know." She said softly. "Captain saw us talking. Worried about the crazy girl going crazier again."

Wash whispered a reply, but River knew she had to go to the galley, to hear the words said as much as the thoughts broadcasted into her mind. People so often said things they didn't feel.

She ghosted through the ship on delicate feet, like a sylph on the air, and listened at the hatch while they discussed her, like a naughty child who had done something wrong and the parents didn't know how to punish it.

Simon hid behind medical buzzwords - _hallucination, medication, paranoid schizophrenia, brain damage_. It all came down to the same thing. They thought she was crazy, still broken. She was _better_, they had all seen it. They had all trusted her with _something_ since Miranda, how could they doubt her now?

Granted, she was still not whole, she never could be. She would never be entirely sane, never all there, but their worry buzzed in her mind like angry bees, stinging and swelling her brain, until the pressure was too much.

She pushed open the hatch and walked in, not realising that her eyes had gone dull. "She is sorry." She said finally. "For worrying them."

"Tross, we're crew." Mal said, wondering how much she had heard. "Crew worries about each other. That's what crew does. Crew is like a family."

River turned to look at Mal. "You don't understand." She said finally. "You've been played for the fool. Shaw wants the princess become pauper, not the pauper playing princess." she took a deep breath.

Zoe's brows knit in confusion, but Inara seemed to understand. "You mean that girl isn't his fiance?"

River shook her head. "Come to take her away, put her in a pretty house with green walls to keep everything out, pretty box for display, china doll on a shelf."

"This is why you ought to leave a gorram note when you have a fit." Mal muttered. "We don't have too much choice now. We've got to drop her and her cargo on Osiris, whether she's his fiance or not. It's all been legally registered, and if we try to rabbit..."

River heard Simon's thoughts and glared at him as much as she could. "It would _not_ be better for her." she said vehemently, before turning back to Mal. "She's bringing danger down on you again." she said it sadly. "Crew has already lost so much. _Serenity_ has already lost so much. Father didn't want her, sold her off to best match - Daddy will be merciful and put a bullet in her brainpan before he gives her over? Bury her with the family on Haven?"

"Ain't no one dying, Albatross." Mal said. "We'll land on Osiris, toss the chit off with her registered cargo, get those parts Kaylee needs, refuel, and be back in the safety of the Black within two days."

River nodded, and headed toward the cargo bay. Mal looked at Jayne, opening his mouth, but before he could tell her t keep an eye on the girl, the merc nodded and followed her out the hatch.

"I'm starting to think he's starting to read minds, as often as he's been doing that." Mal remarked.

"Doing what, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked, breaking the silence she had been holding since the meeting started, unsure of her place, or when or where to speak.

"Goin' off and doing what I want 'im to before I tell 'im what it is I want." Mal explained. "Starting to think the Reader thing is catching."


	16. Chapter XV: Before The Lobotomy

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine!

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone for the views and reviews.

* * *

Looking onto the crew with her eyes instead of her mind, River suddenly felt small and unsure. She could remember what it was like to think before the Academy, what it was like to feel only herself, to be able to shut everything else out. Sometimes she tried to tighten her walls to get a slight echo of that feeling, and found it to be intolerable. Before the Academy she had been whole, alone, solitary.

Now, she couldn't imagine it, and her attempts at even an echo of it left her feeling unsteady. She was glad, briefly, that there was no way Simon could fix certain bits of her brain. Answering the Captain's mental concerns as she let the false walls loosen, she resisted the urge to sigh in relief as the _presence_ of the others returned, even if it was painful. "She won't try and shoot herself again." She informed the Captain. "And if she plans on being unavailable, she will leave a note for him."

She saw the way Mal visibly relaxed and she bit her lip. She knew full well what the most likely scenario was at this point. The threads and variables were leading her to leave if Simon did what he was likely too. She winced as a wall of emotion and then nothing hit her from Zoe, and she headed out of the room and to her bunk. They had time before they landed on Osiris, and she had plans to formalize.

* * *

Jayne watched as River left, and settled in, listening to the rest of the crew talk in circles about everything. He kept an eye on Zoe until the woman couldn't seem to take it anymore and left the room with some words to Mal about turning in early. After Zoe left, the talking continued, speaking more frankly, and Jayne finally got tired of it. He was never one for words, they never really worked for him the way they worked for Mal. He would never be Top Three Percent or even diplomatic in Mal's failed talky manner. Words did little good, except to whip people up into moods and tizzies.

"I'll be in my bunk." He announced and turned to the door. He was walking down the hallway for the crew quarters, and he thought about River again. Not good for Crazy, to be alone too long. He had figured that out along some point, so he knocked on the hatch once and opened it, dropping down the ladder easily.

"Was waiting for you." River said simply. "Have plans."

That piqued Jayne's interest. "What kinda plans?" He asked, sitting down beside her on the bed, from where he was perched he could see her going over blueprints. "I thought we weren't doing crime here."

"Captain isn't." River said easily. "Side theft."

"Mal's not gonna like that." Jayne said, but he was grinning. For the last year or so they had been going on what River called "side jobs" which were usually hustling pool or card games, but sometimes they actually did small thefts and split it between them.

"We will ply Captain with presents when we return." River said easily. "Presents and apologies will cover a great manner of things."

"Yeah, I guess they do." Jayne said, thinking on the crate of apples again. "So, what's the plan?"

"Sneak into this house, and be like mice. Girl can circumvent the security if needed, and then they will have a goodly amount of credits and presents with which to barter forgiveness from the captain." River said easily. She paused, chewing on her bottom lip. "Full disclosure?"

"'Course." Jayne answered. About the third side job in he had learned what "full disclosure" meant. It meant she told him everything about the whys and wherefores of a job. He didn't always understand, but it was nice to be in the loop, especially when there was just the two of them.

"Steal from the Tam Estate." River said slowly. "Take old things from her room, things that she wanted from failed parental figures, steal Tam ring so Simon can stop being a boob and propose to Kaylee."

"And if'n we're caught?" Jayne asked, knowing it was risky, but liking the idea of stealing from the elder Tams."

"The girl would not be sad if Jayne got rid of them." River replied, smiling up at him. "But plan should go off well. If her calendar is right, they should be at a party."

"Hey," he said suddenly. "You know I...we...the crew...wouldn't let ye behind right?"

River sighed. "Simon worries about her." She admitted. "Like marbles in his head and a weight around his neck. Blames himself over things beyond his control that the girl cannot go to balls and dance with fops or date Core boys. Thinks rich man might be a good match, give River the stability and wealth she deserves. No one sees that everything the girl wants is right here." She met Jayne's bright blue eyes with large brown.

"Riv..." Jayne said, feeling as though his throat was closing over. "You go anywhere, I'm goin' with you, _dong ma?_

That was not at all what he had intended to say, not really. He had meant to say somethign about how she wasn't really some prissy Core broad, how she belonged with _Serenity_, about Simon's idiocy and something about not turning his back on his partner, but that had come out instead and it surprised him.

River's eyes seemed to get deeper, and he knew she was reading him, and despite himself, a flash of desire for her came out of nowhere. He didn't think on her like that, right? Much. Well, anymore than he thought about any of the female crew.

River nodded. "Partners," she agreed, and then, just as he began to relax, she stood up on her rack and kissed him. On the mouth.


	17. Chapter XVI: Burning Bridges, Part 1

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone for the reviews. It's nice to know people are still interested in this story. :)

* * *

The kiss took Jayne off-guard. He went completely still for a moment while his mind tried to figure out what had just happened. It might have succeeded too - if River hadn't pressed closer and nipping at his lip in a way that made his brain short-circuit.

Jayne Cobb was not good with denying himself things. He never had been, especially women. And there was a willing woman pressed against him and kissing him like he might die tomorrow, and he couldn't help but kiss back.

Somehow, and he wasn't sure how, but he had ended up lifting her from his bed, and those _gorram_ long legs wrapped around his waist then he was devouring her mouth against the cool metal wall, and she was giving as good as she got.

It was after the had broke for air that he realised two things. He didn't kiss on the mouth and he had been kissing River Tam. Not just kissing, making out like teenagers. He groaned as he realised that his hands were grasping her small but very fine ass. "Riv," He said, a bit breathless.

"Jayne." River replied, cheeks flushed, but not from embarrassment. Her lips were slightly swollen and he wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss her again, but he paused anyway. "Where'd ya learn to kiss like that?"

River grinned. "Inara's books." She offered, shifting a little. "They offer a _wealth_ of information." She paused. "And from the kissing itself as it evolved."

That made Jayne groan, and he slowly eased her down to stand on her own feet. "Girl..." He said, unsure of what he was going to say.

"Don't have to talk." River said, pressing a finger to his lips as she slid away. "Need time to think. "No use for words. Girl will hear." She smiled again, and it reminded him of when he had given her the twin pistols she always carried for her birthday. "Girl has much more amusing ways to knock him out, however."

He doesn't even realise he's left her bunk until he's sitting in his own and staring at the stain between two rivets that looks like an old Earth-That-Was flintlock.

He tried to recall every instance where River annoyed him, but even her crazy fits caused concern in memories, and there was somethign almost arousing about the butcher knife. He wondered if that was why everyone had been so dismissive of it, but then shook his head. Mal would have let the Black take him if that were true.

And then he thought about tonight, about the idea of anyone marrying Crazy, wanting _his_ Crazy like that, and he wanted to kill the _hun dan_. Huh. That left him with an over-arching question - what now?

* * *

He still didn't have any answers as the day River had appointed for the heist approached, and he went with a classic ruse. He put on his whoring shirt and headed out of the cargo bay door, leaning against one side of the hull, waiting.

Twenty minutes later, River appeared, holding two sacks, and slipping her sword into her back sheath, where it disappeared from view under her shirt. Jayne allowed himself a moment to admire it, and wondered what she would look like, sans clothes, with all the weapons she had on, strapped to her skin.

He didn't need to ask if she was ready, they rarely needed to talk on their side trips unless it was part of a con. He followed easily as she led them farther and farther away from the docks and the lower ends of Capital City, and straight into Rich-Guy land. She stopped mid-step, and he had instinctively reached out to grip her arms and support her weight, in case her over-extended witchy mind was being hit by something.

"She has miscalculated." She said finally, pointing at a house across the street and at an angle from them. "The green is down. They must be hosting instead of visiting." She considered that, and directed a breath out of her lips. "Only minor alterations to plan required. Go in from upper level instead of lower."

"Robbin' the place out from under their very noses?" He repeated, a grin appearing on his face. "Shiny." He listened as she quietly instructed him up the very tree Wash had been occupying in her injury-induced dreams, and after she joined him on the balcony, she inputted some code and it opened into...

A very rich bedroom for a very rich little girl. He glanced over at her, and watched as she plucked a few plastic dinosaurs from a shelf and the browncoat soldiers perched atop them. She also picked up several cortex chips and then led him from the room into what could only be the master bedroom, which was larger than the house he had grown up in for the first six years of his life.

"Under the bed." She said, pointing to one side. "Secret hiding spot. Take everything." Glad to be doing more than following her as she picked her way through things, he dropped silently to his knees and found the hidden door easily. It took some fumbling to find the catch, but he reached in and pulled out several heavy bags, and a quick glance told him that he was holding bags of platinum. "Ta me de." He muttered.

"Is only a fraction of what we're taking." River said, from where she was rifling through her mother's jewelery box, coming up with a square black jeweler's box and throwing it in her bag.

Next came the study, where River quickly showed Jayne more hiding spots and set to pulling out her father's prized weapons that he kept only for show, and putting them in her sack. After a few more "stops" in rooms that were so rich that they made Jayne's skin crawl, they had a tidy haul that split between them, even with "gifts" would number a bigger payday than the most lucrative of their jobs.

They were back in River's childhood bedroom when they heard someone walking down the hallways, and they both knew when the person stopped at the door. His footfalls were heavy, confident, and his shadow seeped under the door, but after a few seconds, he moved on, and Jayne had found himself disappointed. He had wanted to kill her _hun dan_ of a father.

Still, running on the adrenaline that came from a successful and smooth job, he went back down the tree, and his eyes widened in shock when River, rather than following him down, took a flying leap from the tree. Panicking slightly, he moved hurriedly to catch her, and glared when she fell, lightly and laughing into his arms, still weighing hardly anything.

He shook her slightly. "What're you trying to do, Moonbrain?" He asked harshly, realising, belatedly, that he had been_scared_ for her, and that it had felt gorram similar to when she had been in the infirmary after shooting herself.

"Knew Jayne would catch me." River said simply.

"Yeah, but you coulda scrambled those brains of yers even more." Jayne said, putting her down, and trying to ignore the way she had felt in his arms.

"Impossibility." River sing-songed back, as she led the way back to Serenity, letting him carry the loot, which, much to his enjoyment was very heavy. "Partner would not have let her fall. No way in the 'verse. Your equation is full of irrational numbers!"


	18. Chapter XVII: Burning Bridges, Part 2

**Author's Note:** I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying this story. I love all the reads and reviews all of you have left. :)

* * *

It was late into the night cycle when River and Jayne returned to the ship. No one was looking for Jayne because when he left in his whoring shirt, they knew better than to expect him back early, as he always took time with his trim. River had made a production of going off to "hide" so that everyone assumed she was on board in some hiding spot and would come out when she felt better. it was a ruse they used often for their side fun, but they used it because it worked and it worked well.

They sat in the cargo bay, behind the largest box, and went through the haul, just in the most basic way. This was normally when they split it up, but as they spilled platinum and credits out between them, River stopped Jayne with a hand on his larger arm. "Do you trust me?"

Jayne was of the opinion this was a stupid question, river could tell as soon as he processed the words. "Sure." He said easily. "Wouldn't be doing crime wit' ye by our ownselves if'n I didn't." He blinked at her. "Or let ye kiss me on the mouth, at that."

"Well, you didn't exactly _let me._" River replied in amusement. "But point made. If you trust me, don't spend any of your cut yet." She said seriously. "If you're still set on coming with me if I leave, we need to wait."

Jayne's concern rippled over her, and a moment later, he said. "You still think something's gonna happen, Crazy?"

River nodded. "It may or may not." She said finally. "If it does, you will know when it goes bad." she could feel his reticence, both looking at the pile of platinum and credits between them. Still, it wasn't just the money, he had come to think of this place as home as much as she had.

"Okay then." Jayne said, bagging it back up. "You keep it, else I might get stupid."

"You know," River said softly. "I would not hold you to your promise to follow me."

"Fer a genius you can be really ruttin' stupid." Jayne snapped. "Said I was goin' with you if you went anywhere."

River knew not to push him, and so she gathered up the bags, said goodnight to Jayne, and concealed them in one of her hiding spots, everything but the dinosaurs. She would give the everyone else their gifts at breakfast, but Wash could have his dinosaurs tonight.

However, she had made a fundamental mistake. She had felt out to ensure that Mal was secluded with Inara in the shuttle, and headed up to the bridge. She hadn't bothered to check on Zoe because Zoe never came to the bridge. All she could see in the bridge was the ghastly way she had lost her husband, and she saw that enough in her sleep to go near to it in her waking hours.

So she tripped into the bridge with a grin, announcing easily. "Wash! I brought you dinosaurs so we can pla...oh." Despite Zoe never stepping foot onto the bridge, there Zoe was. She pulled her hands back, holding the plastic brontosaurus, aerodactyl and velociraptor to her chest. She felt suddenly on edge, and Zoe's emotions were blank, which didn't help. Zoe acted stoic, but the only time she felt so blank was during the firefight with the Reavers. "I just...I brought dinos..." She sidled up around the pilot's side, adding the three to the current tableau of This Land. "For Wash."

"Wash is dead." Zoe said, voice almost cold.

"I...I know." River answered, finding herself frightened despite everything. Zoe was scaring her more than Reavers right now. "But we talk...and play This Land sometimes..."

Zoe could move fast, and then River was pressed up against the side of the console, with a very angry first mate in front of her. "wash is _dead._" Zoe repeated. "My _husband_ is dead. Not here to talk too, not hiding away somewhere, and _not_ haunting this boat. And if he _was_ here, do you honestly _think_ he'd be _here_, where he _died_ and talking to _you?_ The feng le girl that pulled us all into another crusade against the Alliance and killed so many people?"

"Wash..." River managed.

"She could have stopped it, River's Academy training was pressing on her to stop it when she saw it coming, but she stood still and let Zoe's punch hit square. Zoe was right. She had doubted it at times, but she was still crazy, and maybe Wash really was just made up. Some idea of comfort that the shade of a person stayed behind. she just sort of crumbled to the floor as Zoe stalked out of the room, and cradled her jaw slightly, quickly diagnosing it as broken.

"Broken as my brain." she said softly.


End file.
